So the new season of jerseyshore ; ] pretty good so far but I'm not really happy that Angelina is back .. shes kind of irrelevant to me lmao and she needs to hop off whatever pedestal she's been on .. you are not the Kim Kardashian of Staten island honeyBoo and don't worry I'm not jealous; i just dont think you count as a person ♥ i think this calls for a list of
What Qualifies You as a SimpleB*tch/BasicDude
1: Arrogantly bringing yourself into a conversation that has nothing to do with you; then acting surprised when people tell you to shut the hell up ♥
2: Hooking up with grenades -__-
3: Following a girl with fried chicken and Koolaid in your hands and expecting her to have a conversation with you,, then getting mad when she decides to keep her dignity and walks AWAY from you ; D
4: Getting dressed in the dark and then going out in public
5: Strongly believing that the words "this right here is my swagg. All the girls are on me, damn" RHYME .. you know what i think? I think Soulja Boy (clown) was in the studio and tried to find something to rhyme with swagg, but gave up and said "damn" .. too bad that shit was number one on BET forever haha smfh. More out of control lyrics: "You party with a star we take off and go to mars, Pretty boy take off in 5.4.3.2.1" Soulja Boy, the only thing you can take off is you eyebrows so sit down PLEASE ♥
Not sure how I feel about that "Makeup Bag" song by The Dream either .. like if I'm in a relationship and my baby gets me mad,, giving me money/nice makeup/designer shit is NOT going to make me forgive you .. a woman who is worthy of anything cannot be bought so remember that ladies .. presents are nice of course but they shouldn't be the reason you forgive your significant other and if it is .. well you have some thinking to do ;p
Stupid Things People Say ; ] Benny: What would a vagina look like after sex with 300 people? Me: ... Benny: GROUND ZERO
It's been a while since my last post but here we go cuties ♥
Cant explain how disappointed and irritated I have been with people for the past few years especially this week ughhh ; ( ranting timee ♥
1: Dont freaking cut me off when I'm trying to swipe my metro card at the train station. I don't know WHAT you were thinking with that flower dress exposing your back because your skin is ALL spotted up from spending wayy to much time in the sun simple b*tch .. get that crinkly crackly shit outa here ; D
2: I was looking around my kitchen for something to eat tonight and there was a HUGE watermelon on the counter top -__- stereotypical much? not to mention I ended up getting red koolaid with my macaroni and cheese lmao whateverrr ; ]
3: If you would allow a friendship that has lasted for ten years to crumble without even saying a word to the person you called your "sister" then you are a cunt. Theres no need for me to do anything; karma will take care of that ♥ OOoooh,, and that present i was going to give you for your birthday? looks better on me anyway ♥
4: If you try to talk to a girl who has a boyfriend, DONT BE MAD AND RUDE AND GET AN ATTITUDE when you're trying to seduce her and she tells u she's with her boo and you can't steal her from him. HELLO ♥ you are not him soo let it go and quit the weak game HoneyBoo ; ] same goes for ladies getting mad when dudes with girlfriends blow them off. HELLO at most you will be a SideGirl and that is not even cute like SideGirl swag? ehhehh NO .. so unless he DUMPS HER, pleasee don't walk around talking about how you have someone's man when you're just his groupie aka I'm-Mad-At-My-Girl-So-Send-Me-A-Picture chick .. OooOoooh YES I did ; ]
4: If a girl doesnt answer her phone or text you back for two weeks .. MAYBE shes not interested in talking to you? so MAYBE you should stop trying to make her feel guilty because thats creepyy? Or you'll end up like this guy lmao:
`*~ I was reading celebrity gossip and saw this foolishness:
Sooo apparently Mel Gibson's ex wife is defending him against his most recent wife Oksana Grigorieva for her charging Mel Gibson with violence .. Simple b*tch (the ex wife) is apparently releasing the statement: “Mel never engaged in any physical abuse of any kind toward me before, during or after our marriage...Mel was a wonderful and loving father.” Umm HELLO not all abuse or violence is necessary physical !! There can still be emotional and mental abuse which he clearly did do if you havent heard his racist rant tapes that I mentioned in my last blog .. Honestly someone who talks as ignorantly and as cruelly as him probably did abuse her and his ex wife looks silly defending him with such a weak statement like who cares if he never abused you? Doesn't mean he won't do it to someone else .. And HELLO he DID dump you while Oksana Grigorieva was already two months pregnant soooo that makes you look even more simple .. *sighs* they will never learn but I will always have something to laugh at ♥
`*~ On the brighter sidee ; D I was watching the new season of real world .. It amazes me how this one girl on the show will get herself drunk to get the attention of a guy she wants to hook up with .. list?
What Brings You From a Respectable Woman to a Drunken Trainwreck
1 Walking out the house with heels when you KNOW you cant walk drunk in them. Do you want crutches tomorrow? Do you want to wake up barefoot? ♥
2 Wearing a short skirt/dress with tiny underwear underneath or maybe even no underwear who knows -__- cuz when your drunk ass is hobbling all over the place,, you're not going to think about panties .. SO some good damage control would be to wear spanks underneath ; ] unless you want to race the simple b*tches with big mouths in un-tagging pictures the next morning
3 Going on facebook while wasted. self explanatory haha
4 Drunk dials/ texts. texts are funnier because the next day you can document the speed and severity of your downward sprial and how the person texting you back was either taking advantage of the situation OR trying to help you (which is rare because its a lot more fun to play around with a drunk person l0l)
5 TRYING to make a drunk dial or text but holding your phone upside down .. PLEASE tell me how that is going to help you communicate with anybody? The only thing thats going to give you is pictures to un-tag from facebook the next day ; ]
`*~ Favorite TFLN right now: (304): I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Stupid things my friends say: John: I can't believe Super Mario is fake...he's just a regular ass plumber
So .. I'm here waiting to see the Kevin Hart special on Comedy Central and there's some damn justin bieber special on tv my sister wanted to watch smfh
The part that I saw was about how crazy his fans are and he was complaining about girls trying to kiss him -__- well you ARE one of Hollywood's new female magnets and a fresh prey for cougars now lmao so what do you expect? its shocking yes but that's part of being a celebrity. smh and the whole Kim Kardashian thing makes me even more mad like seriously? you're going to send someone death threats for something that isn't even true? HELLO Justin Bieber is like 16 years old and Kim Kardashian is in her freaking 20s which is not even LEGAL .. stop being simple b*tches and going buck wild over some teenage boy who has his hair styled in a way that will allow him to flip it every thirty seconds ♥ and Kim Kardashian probably has a better boobs to butt ratio than most of you crazy female animals so get some class and stop trying to kill people over a young boy who you will probably never get a chance with anyway l0l jeez .. I would also like to know why I heard Justin Bieber got nominated for a BET award. This might sound crazy but I think he's ... not black. He is also NOT Eminem or Justin Timberlake lmao. but do what you do Bieber
I'm also wondering whats going on with that KIA car comerical, that has hip-hop sounding music playing in the background, with cute hamsters who are in a Harlem-themed area, wearing baggy clothing. WHY? I was just getting excited about how cute the baby hamsters were and then the foolishness hit me smfh l0l hamsters are not damn gangsters .. and of course hip-hop music automatically means the setting must be in a place where people blast their stereos and wear fitted hats l0l. Well at least it gets the point across and people like it. And the music is stuck in my head. So, mission accomplished l0l ;p
In some not so bright news .. racist rants by Mel Gibson have been released onto the internet and the things he says are pretty bad .. his girlfriend or I guess theyre broken up by now, Oksana Grigorieva says she isnt responsible for leaking them even though his comments were directed at her .. It seems like she did it though but shes afraid he might kill her or something ; / his rant was crazy calling her a wetback and saying that she dresses like a whore and embarrasses him and will get raped by a pack of n*ggers because she provokes them .. smfh its always interesting to see how f*cked up Hollywood celebrities really are. that world is anything but perfect and its sad how many people out there think being famous and having money means they will be happy.
Honestly when you look like this do you really have the right to talk negatively about people? saying all that racist sh*t about people and LOOK AT YOU your miserable ass cant even have a healthy relationship OR even tan well -- your chest is all sunburned and hairy eww l0l .. thats what you get ;p You're a racist and there's no way you can convince people with BRAINS that you're not, even with a public apology which celebrities seem to do in order to put foolish actions behind them and try to save their careers. You will never be liked for your character, that's for sure. BY THE WAY ASSWIPE, you might want to pick up some Just for Men and Rogaine for that hair of yours -- looks like your starting to get grey and bald up there ; ]
.. On a better note TFLN and my friends have been wonderful:
(919):We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
(919):It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
facebook IM: Renyelle: he poured sand in my hair in pre k Laurina: bastard Renyelle: yea pretty much... i was so sad i might have cried but i dont think i did cause i wasnt tryna go out like a bitch
so ive been pretty busy lately but im still trying to keep up with the weekly blogging ♥ i went to the poconos for family trip for the fourth of july weekend .. it was ok but i think i wud have had more fun if i was in the city or at the riverfront near my house since the fireworks there are wayyy better than the fifteen minute birthday candles thrown into the sky in PA .. BUT it was nice bonding with my cousins who are .. a mess ; ] at the pool i saw some things i didnt need to see and i wasnt suprised
WHAT WILL DISQUALIFTY YOU AS A RESPECTABLE PERSON IN THE POOL:
1 wearing a bathing suit that is too small for you and doesnt not cover up the neccessary areas -__- who wants to see that? WHO? please explain to me what kind of message you are trying to get across with that? dont worry, I'll wait ♥
2 cannon balls in the 3 ft section of the pool smfh dont complain if you hit your knee or your tailbone YOU ASKED FOR IT DUMMIE ♥
3 being an asshole and going down the kid slide in the pool and scaring the babies -__-
4 getting your hair in the pool .. eWwWw ; ((
5 splashing people that you don't know "by accident" -__- that. shit. is. not. cute.
6 being a freaking simple b*tch and giving dirty looks to girls who happen to look better in their bikini than you do .. get over it and get to the gym ♥
anyways .. in other news ; ] i finished my first day of my internship today and it went pretty well so here i go haha .. dont think im getting paid until the end but it WILL be worth it ; ] and after work i was under the hot summer sun in the city running errands with my mom BUT i got the best massage ever ; ] haha my back was cracking soo much i have never gotten a good massage in my life
as im sitting here typing this blog i can smell the nasty garbage that is now only being picked up once a week outside eww ; ( wtf this world is coming closer to a destructive and unfortunate end everyday -__-
BUT before it does end i am going to enjoy the further simple b*tch activity that i have witnessed:
Yes .. finally after 9876567 years she is finally getting what she deserves .. not to say she doesnt have reasons to behave the way that she did im sure her life isnt easy but u cant let yourself loose control like that .. she used to be a great example for young girls to look up to and then slowly her life spiraled out of control and shes in and out of rehab not attending classes on time and loosing passports and sh*t COME ON NOW if that was anyone else they wud have gotten way more than 90 days in jail thats nothing get over it .. u did a whole bunch of things to put yourself in that position and now you have to be responsible for your actions !! being a celebrity doesnt mean you are above the law , although this country makes it like that sometimes smfh -__- but maybe this will teach her a lesson and maybe she will leave the simple b*tch mentality behind ; ] i miss the old Lindsay Lohan with NATURAL red hair and good decision making skills
anyways .. favorite TFLNs right now: (951): My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now (602):I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
